Motherhood, Passion & Heart

By hdmakeupbycess - 08:12

It took me days to finally write and share this to everyone. I don't know where to start but i hope this blog post will inspire all the mommies & ladies out there to pursue their passion despite the obstacles you've experiencing right now. Whether it is about Family or Heartbreak Issues i know you got this!

As you can see, I am that millennial 20s girl who got her life together. Or not?

Studying Entrepreneurship back then since i want to establish a Nail Salon Business but suddenly changed course and pursue Fashion Design after 3 years. But failed and got pregnant after a month.
Devastated and Confused. My world came crashing down 💔
Questions ran through my head. "How will i tell my parents? How can i continue my studies? How can i establish my career? How?" I am not ready yet. We're not ready yet.

But after a month of deep-thinking and praying to god for answers. My boyfriend and I back then (still together before) decided to continue and fight for what's right. We believe that our baby is a blessing and meant to happen.

4months preggy :) 
I gave birth to a healthy baby boy!

And, as they say, Motherhood is one of the toughest job in the world.

Sleepless nights, Postpartum Depression & my Relationship with my partner back then became off. Depression hit me hard that time. Months goes by and i still feel depressed. Happy but still incomplete.

I started to become a little irritable and shut myself in my room craving for something to do aside from taking care of my baby. Thinking i need to do something. I decided to take up Makeup Artistry when my baby was 5-6months old that time and my partner supported me and my decision. I was so happy!

I found out that "Makeup" was my passion. I started to love anything about makeup and to open up to possibilities and opportunities till i graduated and got busy. Clients, Weddings and Shoots takes a lot of my time since bago lang ako sa industry, i wanna grab every opportunity and network my skills to everyone. I got so busy that i don't have time for my partner & child. I was so overwhelmed with work that i forgot my responsibilities as a mom and a partner. and after a year. I found out that my partner has fallen out of love and lost interest in me. My world came crashing down again and failed to save our relationship. I hit rock bottom the second time.

But of course seeing things in a new light, I believe that if someone is really meant for you or this person is destined to be with you eventually they'll find their way back and you won't experience any hardship and second guess if he's meant for you, you won't constantly feel lost coz he's there to keep you secure, you won't keep on guessing if he truly loves you because he will still choose you. love is not just a feeling. Its a choice... and if he chooses to be with you, you won't keep on chasing him coz he's meant to be kept by you, Vise versa. right? 

Maybe we're not meant for each other? Maybe I'm destined to be with someone else? Broken and confused i just keep on working (cue in Just one last time by David Guetta lol) , channel my energy to something better and occupied myself with self-love, taking care of our baby and my passion for makeup & blogging.

Tho we were in good terms naman, respect each other, decided to be friends and chose to be the bigger person despite what happened, our child's well being is the most crucial thing right now and i hope each and everyone of us find the strength to forgive and move on. Minsan its hard db? Its hard to forgive someone who hurt and betrayed us. But you'l grow & feel lighter once you chose to forgive.

I think its important to look back and meditate once in a while. You'l become wiser and stronger with the love and support of your family & friends ❤️

And you! Yes you who are reading this right now. I know eventually you'll heal. Eventually you will grow, forgive, will found your calling, passion, be happy and lastly, you'll find someone who is really meant for you and love every inch of you because you deserve it and you're worth it!

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